Massage and Reflexology of Delaware

“The Dynamics of Desire”

by Marianne Parady

Saints and sages have been singing the praises of belief for centuries. Christ provided the foundation, teaching us that all things are possible to those who believe. Norman Vincent Peale instructed millions in the power of positive thinking. Today, Dr. Wayne Dyer tells us that we will “see it when we believe it.” Countless metaphysical schools have based their philosophies on the power of belief. And while belief is an indispensable part of the manifestation process, another force wields an equal, if not greater power–that is the force called desire.

Without desire, creation as we know it would not exist. Progress, both individual and collective, would cease, bringing dissolution and stagnation to our most cherished endeavors. Without desire, life would lose its momentum, its ability to move forward toward new and exciting paths. In his play, A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams wrote, “The opposite of death is desire,” implying that the opposite of life desirelessness.

Many Eastern philosophies are based on the idea of desirelessness as the secret to obtaining happiness in life. Buddha himself expounded the idea that desire lies at the root of human suffering. Contrary interpretations not withstanding, I believe that the Buddha was speaking of attachment, a state quite distinct from desire.

As paradoxical as it seems, one can have intense desires without becoming too attached to their individual manifestation. For example, one can desire a successful career without being attached to the end result. Attachment to the end result is not necessary and can sometimes inhibit the process. For by focusing solely on the end result, we lose touch with the present moment, consequently draining all energy from the activity. When this occurs, we inadvertently strangle the desire, causing its delay or unfulfillment. It is important to remember that desires, like people need to remain free and unencumbered in order to be fully realized.

Understanding the origin of our desires may also help facilitate their manifestation. Many metaphysicians believe that our desires arise from the potentialities that are inherent within us. If this is true, we can assume that we would not have been given a desire that could not be fulfilled. Knowing this adds the power of belief to this potent mixture, thereby insuring a successful outcome.

The awareness and acknowledgment of a desire is also an essential component of the process. For if we do not recognize and accept our individual desires, we actually prevent their fulfillment. Not knowing what we want or denying the validity of a desire might thwart its attainment and may bring us what we don’t want.

Life is full of people, bitter and despairing, who believe their desires to be unrealistic and unattainable. The absolute first step to empowering our desires is to open our minds and hearts to their possibility, however remote and far removed from our present reality. Life is also full of people, exuberant and fulfilled, who expect life to grant their deepest desires, and it usually does.

Enthusiasm is another important ingredient necessary to ensure a concrete manifestation. For enthusiasm is generated by intense feeling, which empowers and ignites the desire with the potency of the emotional self. For desire without feeling is like a rocket without fuel. It just won’t get off the ground. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why many people complain about all that life has denied them. Perhaps it is they who have denied life by not utilizing the power of their emotions to help them get what they want.

We must desire something passionately in order to experience its reality. For there is nothing quite as powerful as a strong desire supported by passion and clarity. In one of his books, Dale Carnegie wrote, “if I could look into your mind and ascertain the strength of your desire and the light and shadow of your thought, I could foretell, almost with certainty, the swiftness of your progress toward your goal.” Therefore, it is imperative that we reconnect with our emotional like to enhance the potency of our desires. Opening ourselves up to the whole spectrum of emotions infuses our desires with vitality and depth. Enlivened and rejuvenated, we can then clear away any emotional blocks and touch the source of our being, where the wellspring of power lies.

Lack of feeling is not the only impediment to realizing our dreams. Lack of focus also impairs their fulfillment b sending mixed signals to the various corners of our being, causing chaos and confusion. As has been proven many times, a life without direction usually goes nowhere. The unfocused individual is blown about by the winds of fate, seeking refuge on myriad shores, but never discovering the course and current of their own life.

The Russian philosopher Gurdjieff developed some interesting theories regarding people with ambiguous desires. According to Gurdjieff, human beings are composed of a personality, the part we are consciously aware of, and an essence, that part which is eternal. Gurdjieff believed our personality to be comprised of many different identities, many of which conflict with each other, making it difficult to maintain a focused desire.

For example, suppose you would like to move ahead in your career. In your conscious mind you are clear about this desire and believe that this is truly what you want. Now let’s say that there is a part of yourself that is afraid of the added responsibility and would rather you stay where you are. This identity has its own agenda which, unless dealt with, could delay the promotion or prevent it altogether.

Gurdjieff also believed that desire is tantamount to prayer and taught that if you held a desire long enough, your intention would be communicated to higher realms of being, which would encourage its realization.

This concept, however, does not explain why certain prayers are not answered. To clarify this dilemma, Gurdjieff observed that most people are constantly shifting between the various identities that exist within their personality. Many of these identities possess conflicting desires which often cancel each other out. Unfortunately, disconnected and random desires fail to transmit a uniform message to the Universe, resulting in masses of unfulfilled desires and unanswered prayers.

William James recognized the importance of a consistent desire, as well, when he stated that, “if you care enough for a result, you will most certainly attain it. If you wish to be good, you will be good. If you wish to be rich, you will be rich. If you wish to be learned, you will be learned. Only then you must really wish these things and wish them with exclusiveness and not wish one hundred other incompatible things just as strongly.”

Sporadic desires are also inhibited from coming into being. For example, if we want a new home one day, then on the following day decide it would be too much trouble to move, then want it again a week later, the power of the desire is lost through our vacillation. To be truly effective, we must maintain this consistency on a daily basis, allowing nothing to deter us from accomplishing our good.

In order to prevent the difficulties unveiled by Gurdjieff, we must strive to be aware of the various levels of consciousness and try to integrate them. Ideally, the personality, the subconscious, and the essence should work together in symbiotic unity.

The personality, or ego, is the part of ourselves we are most conscious of. Desires which stem from the personality are usually apparent to us, and we strive to achieve them. Our personality consists of many selves, both true and false, that we have created to help us functions in the world. If, as Gurdjieff believed, the desires of these selves are in conflict with one another, complete realization could be impossible.

Intense self-exploration can help us uncover conflicting desires, thereby providing us with the opportunity for unification. Meditation, therapy, and other self-help practices can open the door to the hidden parts of our personality, allowing us to heal and transform them.

It is difficult, however, to rely on the personality alone to determine exactly what it is we want. Our conscious mind is often in the habit of deceiving us by making us think we want one thing when in truth we may want another. Our subconscious, the veiled mediator between the personality and the essence, may have other plans for us. For example, we may tell ourselves that we want to marry, while our subconscious may desire to remain single because of fear, loss of freedom, or other conflicting plans we may have for our live.

Unless we are in touch with the subconscious part of our being, we may believe that life doesn’t grant our desires, when in fact it does. Arthur Rubinstein, the pianist, wrote: “I have discovered as a result of what I can only call miracles that whenever my inner self desires something subconsciously, life will somehow grant it to me.”

Psychologists have been aware for years of the power the subconscious has to influence our lives. Unfortunately, many unhealthy messages have been implanted there that can create misery in our lives. For example, because of certain orthodox religious beliefs, we may believe that suffering ennobles and purifies us, which could generate an unconscious desire for suffering in our lives.

Family systems may encourage the growth of this unhealthy desire for misery by parading their admiration of a martyr-like existence. Perhaps someone in the family continually sacrifices themselves for others, by constantly denying their own needs. Perceived as a saint and told that “you’ll be rewarded in heaven,” this person receives admiration, as well as pity for their behavior, which is exactly what they subconsciously want.

Rewards in heaven notwithstanding, society in general rewards us with praise and acceptance, when we struggle through adversity. “Misery loves company,” or so the saying goes, as life presents us with corroboration of this unnerving statement. How many of us feel guilty when our lives are thriving and happy? Surprisingly, we may discover that our successes are less acknowledged than our failures. Certain friends and family members may rally round us when we are mourning a loss, yet be envious and distant when we achieve a long-desired goal. Just the anticipation of others’ ill will may deter us from reaching our deepest dreams. we may find our desire for acceptance stronger than our desire for the perceived goal, thereby perpetuating its unattainment. This, of course, would only occur if we subconsciously believed that we are accepted more for failure and mediocrity than for attainment and success.

Although it is a difficult truth to accept, many people may actually not want to achieve their goals. I once had a friend tell me that “it’s frightening to get what you want.” George Bernard Shaw knew what he was talking about when he said, “There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.”

Obviously, the primary desires in our lives outweigh the lesser, weaker desires. Therefore, it is imperative that we discover the desire that most represents our own unique nature. Shakespeare’s immortal line, “And this above all — to thine own self be true,” warns us against the folly of denying our essential character. This may cause us to seek something foreign to who we really are. When we look for a job, for example, based on money and security, rather than on what we love, we inadvertently work against the natural grain of our being.

In cases like this, we need to “purify” our desire by discovering our intrinsic desires and focusing ourselves in that direction. Part of our responsibility is to discover the desire that most represents ourselves and to cultivate it completely. By doing this, many conflicting, weaker desires fall away as our soul is fired with the spark of divine desire. Singleness of purpose is necessary to achieve our most cherished goals. When we finally discover ourselves and our deepest desires, we become intense and focused, which moves us onward toward attaining our goals.

We must look deeply into ourselves in order to determine what our primary desires are, for they are charting the course of our existence. To facilitate the procedure, we can look at what we have in our lives as mirroring our deepest desires. In other words, what we have is often what we want. As shocking as this may seem, there is an inordinate amount of truth in this statement. For instance, if we are experiencing poverty in our lives, there may be a subconscious part of us that desires poverty. Perhaps we believe that true spirituality requires poverty, as illustrated by some of the great spiritual leaders of the past. The idea of prosperity and abundance is frequently at odds with many traditional Christian teachings,, although churches have traditionally been beds of opulence and wealth.

Because of the subtle and hidden parts of our consciousness, we can be totally unaware of what desires we hold. Self-exploration and observation help to uncover these desires by bringing them in to the light of awareness where they can be transformed.

Nevertheless, we can bypass the various layers of our personality and subconscious and ascend to the level of our essence, where, as Gurdjieff believed, we unite with the eternal. Called by many names, this “essence” has been courted by philosophers, mystics, and theologians throughout the ages. Union with this infinite part of our being transcends the less ethereal levels, transforming them from the inside out.

In this way, we go beyond the subconscious to that place where God’s will joins with ours, thereby adding divine force to our desires. Here we uncover certain desires inherent to our being that are in line with God’s purpose for us. When we unfold God’s plan for us, our desires become unified on all levels, which greatly facilitates their manifestation.

One of the most important keys, however to bringing your desires to fruition is the ability to “let go.” This is tantamount to the Buddhist idea of nonattachment, which serves to relieve the suffering associated with striving, thereby helping us enjoy working toward our goals. Once we are clear about what we want, and release our attachment to it, unconscious and divine forces are then free to go to work. By forcing or trying too hard, we inhibit the creative flow, stopping the activity needed for manifestation. As soon as we “let go,” and allow the desire to exist unobstructed, manifestation usually follows naturally and spontaneously. How many times have we experienced giving up on something only to have it subsequently appear? This giving up is not the cessation of desire but the dispersion of it, which empowers it and helps it materialize more quickly.

Of course, all of the theories regarding desire are worthless unless we take some action. It has been said that “desire is the effort of the unexpressed possibility within seeking expression without through action.” For action adds the dimension of commitment to our desires, creating an unbeatable combination of elements. Action lets our entire self know that we mean business, that we are willing to work for what we want.

Now by work, I don’t mean struggle or desperation, but conscious, deliberate effort toward our goals. As many of us have discovered, desperation only restricts the energies necessary for manifestation, wearing us out in the process. Single people have often proven this point by looking for love with the energy of desperation as a guide. During these times, we usually come up “empty-handed,” rating ourselves and all the members of the opposite sex. When we let go of that urgency, however, we often find what we have been looking for, though not always in the way we expected.

It is also important to allow our desires to be fulfilled in their own way and in their own time. For although our ego may want something immediately, our higher self has a wisdom of its own and may be preparing us to handle the fulfillment of our dreams. Often times, we are not ready for a particular milestone to occur and must trust that the Universe knows what it is doing. Waiting is a necessary part of life. To learn to wait constructively, while maintaining and strengthening your desires, takes patience and a willing heart.

In her book, The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie talks about these waiting times as “times of reprogramming,” and sees them as an essential part of the whole creative process. According to Beattie, sometimes we need to be healed of many destructive patterns before we can reach our desired goals. She writes, “Don not ask for love unless you are ready to be healed enough to give and receive love. “Do not ask for joy unless you are ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy. “Do not ask for success unless you are ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.”

The complex levels of desire consist of myriad twists and turns for the psyche, the mind, and the spirit. At times, the realization and unification of our inner most desires may seem distant, and we may become frustrated to the point of being disinterested. Yet, interested we must be for desire can work miracles, create night-mares, or maintain the status quo in our lives. We can use it, or it will use us in an unconscious and perhaps destructive way, creating a future far from our ideal reality.

Contrary to popular opinion, belief is not the only ingredient we need to manifest what we want in our lives. We first need something in which to believe. In this way, desire provides the foundation for the work of art we call our life. For it is desire that fires our beliefs and motivates us to move ever onward toward our highest potential and fulfillment.

Filed under: Health, Massage, Stress Management on March 12th, 2008